Pop-a-Pill

One day I will just grow up and either 1) learn how to swallow a dang pill or 2) learn that I will never be able to swallow a dang pill

The funny thing is: I can down 4 IBprofins whenEVER I want. All at the same time. Give me 4, they're gone.
Give me one gel capsule of NyQuill to help me sleep? nope. I end up chugging about 8 gallons of water, and that stupid blue pill stays stuck to the roof of my mouth. Then I have to go to the bathroom 9,000 times during the night. So much for helping me sleep.


So I came up with a plan to assist those struggling with pill swallowing:

Step 1: open pill packaging--try to take less than 18 minutes to puncture the seal

Step 2: drop pill in glass of water--the less water the better, because then your mixture is more potent

Step 3: realize that the pill will never actually dissolve in a glass of water before midnight (because it IS midnight), so come up with a new brilliant plan

Step 4: Reach into the glass of water, push on the pill with your finger to test for squishy-ness. If not squishy, put it back in the glass of water where it won't do anything. If squishy, proceed to puncture the pill with your fingernail--releasing all the goopy blue liquid into the water.
(Realize: the water won't turn blue from the nyquill)

Step 5: take the whole glass of water into the bathroom, holding the pill in your left hand with the glass below it in the right, rinse the pill over the glass to collect all the blue liquid you can. Discard squishy pill shell in the trashcan.

Step 6: Enjoy your newly mixed drink. When attempting to swallow, it is suggested that you swallow before you taste the liquid.
Warning: Drinking this mixture can lead to vomiting.

Sunday Dinner

I wish that there were more adventures to be had in this booming metropolis, but really, the sad thing is, I have to go to Rexburg to get my kicks in, but even then, I have to get them in before the RIDICULOUS curfew of midnight. So I don't even get my kicks in.

My adventures lately are of a more lame nature, rather than the loud, night-howling adventures of my college days. (oh, back in the day!)

So my Good Guy. Remember him? Well, I have committment issues, so I'm SO hesitant to even admit I'm dating somebody, but alas, I think I am...weird, huh? Anyway he invited me over to the Sunday Dinner at his Great Aunt's house, where you know that there's going to be 8,000 cousins and no super formal dinner...so my roommate wisely advised, "it's only as awkward as you make it"

Well, it turned out a little...uhm...er.....AWKWARD

I showed up to party, went to get my potatoes, and lo! and BEHOLD! My students. Not one, not two, but THREE of my dang students were at this family buffet! And they didn't just look, say hi and disappear like a good student would. Nope. That would have been too normal and un-awkward.
They were like "ms. folkner! Ms. Folkner! Are you dating my cousin?" To which I could not muster a reply. I turned to Good Guy and said, "touch me in front of anyone and you die."
Maybe I wasn't that mean...but I was pretty forceful with my words.

Turns out...they told all their teachers the next day that ms. folkner is dating their cousin, and now all the teachers wanna know who I went to sunday dinner with. Are you kidding me?
They're probably all cousins TOO! So I kept my mouth shut.
Dang IF.

I have learned my lesson. No more big sunday dinners. EVER. I think I'd rather die.

But now, because they know how embarrassed I was, they milk it. Kids are So good at that! Some students didn't know what was going on and why I was being sooooo weird when they brought up my weekend. So, they started thinking that my students saw me making out with Brian. So that's another rumor going around about me. (because Brian came on my Lagoon trip with them, so they automatically think we're married or something.)ha ha ha! At least that would be funny, but only probably just because it's sooo super not true.

Jesus Loves Me, This I Know

because the BIBLE tells me so! ha ha!

Actually really, The REAL reason I know He LOVES is that I finally had my first big field trip with my students on Saturday. I took 65 students, myself, my friend, Brian, and one parent (oh don't forget the 3 billion choir and band kids, blugh) down to Lagoon. I was a wreck the whole month of April pretty much...I'm still getting over it.

I'd been praying pretty much non-stop that my students wouldn't do anything too dumb, and that it would NOT be snowing/raining when we got to the park. We loaded the busses at the middle school, it rained. We rode these busses down to Centerville to do our performance, it rained. We got on the bus to go to Lagoon, it rained. We got off the bus at Lagoon and guess what? it rained. I got in the line for the first roller coaster, it stopped raining! And since it had been such miserable weather, the lines were non-existent. So for 6 hours God held off the rain while my students and I ran around like CRAZIES. I took roll at the busses to get back on the highway, and it rained on my clip board at exactly 6:30--our scheduled departure time.

Man, I LOVE GOD!

Now if you want something more entertaining than a sermon about God's greatness--which is a pretty good topic, I think. You should hear the dumb stuff my students did.
reminder: I teach orchestra, and pretty much have angels for students. Dumb angels, but angels nonetheless.

• The choir kids were throwing Mike and Ikes into Sarah's jacket hood during the trip down
• Jessica and Amanda lost their cell phones out of their pockets into the greasy motor room of the mouse trap ride only to run off after losing them, telling me to worry about it, to catch their friends on the Cliffhanger (I didn't worry about it)
• Leo "pantsed" Ben on the bus in front of all the girls
• Katie and Nate "HELD HANDS!!!!!!" on the bus (oh the drama)
• Oh! and Cassie is SOOOO confused about Jared
• Staci brought 6 pounds of gummy bears in a spiderman backpack and carted that thing throughout the park ALL DAY. She shared, so I thought it was less dumb once I got to eat them.

Just a little taste for the things that 7th and 8th graders are into. I haven't heard from the high school yet. I'll update you if it's anything as good as having to think about Ben in his boxers in front of all those orchestra girls. But I'm having to control my gag reflex so I'm gonna stop STOP thinking about that.

Don't worry--I changed their names...just in case it's illegal or anything